To Define A Year...

To define a year is a difficult thing. A firm believer in reflection, I can’t get away from this semi-addictive process of corralling the fragments of a school year and looking for the patterns and pieces that all come together under what God was doing over the last ten months. After last year, I had high and maybe even heavy expectations about what would happen between August and June. (To read more about that, go here: http://www.cslewisinstitute.org/Answering_Gods_Call_in_the_Public_Schools_page1)

Fair or not, I expected this year to be worthy of reflection and it has been exactly that. It all started with this quote: “Enlarge my territory and increase my impact. Attempt something large enough that failure is guaranteed – Unless God steps in.”

That’s a big quote to be confronted with. It’s a completely intimidating notion at the onset because you know that you know that you know that there is an actual process intended to help you learn it. Within weeks of having God put this quote in front of me I gained a volleyball team, a teacher to mentor, and a student-teacher to advise. As the year went on, I gained specific young people to mentor, a chance to develop leaders and athletes in Korea, and an opportunity to travel and do the same thing again next week in Zambia. Oh yeah – And, I got the privilege to care for over 100 students in my classroom too. Individually, each of these things sounds amazing… And they are. BUT, there is great responsibility with each of these tasks and an overwhelming understanding that God must come through.

There is a lady from my church who insisted on coming by before the school year began to pray over every desk in my classroom, every locker in my hallway, and every inch of the gymnasium. Between those three locations, lives changed this year. Tears were shed, words were shared and there was this silent awareness that God was doing big and awesome things in that small corridor of the school. I love this friend who insisted on praying. She forever interceded in the lives of dozens of students and co-workers.

This year has been emotional. Every day started while it was still dark and most days ended that way too. There were just so many things going on in that building from day to day. As I learned the stories, dreams, and fears of all these kids, God was simultaneously building and breaking my heart for the people he has made me most passionate about. To live a year with teenagers is to ebb and flow with the most polar of emotions. It takes faith.

As winter came to a close, a mentor friend of mine shared this verse… 2 Corinthians 12:15 – “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls.” This became the staple verse on my desk, the words I lived (and sometimes endured) by, and the words that I knew I wanted to shape my year by. God has given me passion and purpose for what I do and He has generously given me many mentors who have spent and been spent so that I might grow into the person God gifted me to be.

I say all that with the utmost humility. This year has caused me to reflect on all the mentors that God has put into my life from a young age and how each of these people has shaped me so much. I don’t know how I got so amazingly gifted with people all along the way who have cared far more for me than I ever cared for myself, but to these people, all I can say is thank you. If any life has been changed while it was in my classroom, then it was certainly a product of them and their generous spending on me.

Throughout this year, several mentors have prayed over this work and these kids. To them - You are why I have kids putting prayer requests on tests and asking if they can pray for me so I “don’t die in Korea.” Last week, I learned that my very first mentor – my current principal and former teacher – would be moving on to a new school next year. To her – You always gave me a chance and believed I could be great. You gave me the confidence that allowed me to know kids beyond just what I see. Then there are my friends, the girls who locked arms with me, cried with me, prayed with me, and even came to watch some volleyball games and a school play. To those girls – Thank you is not enough. You spent on me, so I could spend generously on these kids. You changed lives without even knowing it. Thank you for always being in it with me.

So, the ninth year of teaching comes to a close. It still seems nearly impossible to put into words all that has happened since August, so I’ll close with a quote from one of my most memorable students from this year.

“It was SO hard, but it was SO amazing.”