First Thoughts From The Shire... (Part One)

It took me years, but I finally sat and watched ALL the Lord of the Rings movies the other day.

It was epic.

I’m a few days out and even still there are lots of thoughts and connections rolling through my mind about biblical truths that passed through from the shire to the mountain in Mordor. I think I am most struck by the fact that the journey never got easier. With each hour that passed, we became more immersed in the struggle of each of the characters, relating more and more to their weakness and trials.

I hate to admit it, but I relate so much with Smeagol.

I probably have better hair, but his obsession with the ring resonated so strongly with me. I was frustrated by him… But not because I needed him to get out of the picture, but rather because there was this kindred bond that is created when you know exactly what it’s like to struggle to put something so precious down. I hated that I identified with that so well. Now, I saw Frodo struggle with it too… And it could easily be said that he had a guiding spirit inside of him that ultimately kept him from total failure. I liken that to the Holy Spirit. It reminds me of John 14:15 – 17 where we see how the power of the Holy Spirit, the great advisor, comes upon us. It comes through obedience, which Frodo was able to maintain despite struggles… Whereas Smeagol just cannot rally to be obedient to that whom he calls master because in his heart of hearts the ring is his master. He professed and desired in word, what he could not convince and convert in his heart. This was his ultimate downfall. I think the hardest part about Smeagol is that he made it all the way to the end, but eventually fell into the fire. He got what he wanted, but it cost him everything.

To make such a long journey, such a hard journey and to never see the promise… How disappointing. And yet, I wonder how close I am to that reality every day. I know and understand that eternity is set for me, but there is a delicate tiptoe on the tightrope between holding the ring to get it where it needs to go and slipping the ring on the finger and letting it consume me. For me, this comes in the form of control. It comes in the battle between illusion and reality and this manifest destiny that my mind pursues because of the culture I am a part of. As I watched, the thought of running “to win the prize” came to mind quite often. The sojourners had a goal and they pressed on until they got there. They put one foot in front of the other, never looking too far ahead and though they struggled, though they were pressed on every side, they were never abandoned from the power to reach the promise that was before them. There had to be so many times when they, like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress got to the end of the valley only to be me with another. How discouragement did not overtake them baffles me. It intrigues me. And somehow, it even gives me hope.

Now, these thoughts are incomplete and only access the very tip of an iceberg of biblical allusions cast through the Lord of the Rings. As my mind continues the great traverse from shire to Mordor, I know many more truths will come forward and confront me. I’m excited to experience the persistent evidence of Christ through this creative work.

Half Birthdays... And why they're great...

The half birthday…

Less of a personal celebration and more of an enjoyment of small things.

I have a friend that keeps a bottle of champagne in her fridge at all times because she always wants to be ready to celebrate. I think I like that.

I think I like the thought of being filled with joyful anticipation… Holy expectation… Awaiting God’s rich saturation… Belonging to the Lord and; therefore, knowing that it is always time to be ready to celebrate.

A few weeks ago I celebrated my half birthday. On that day, quite a few of my students (along with some willing friends whose gifts I've also loved much…) joined in the small celebration by delivering small gifts. Unique gifts. Gifts that were less about monetary value and more about being known. I love that.

As I look back on that day with happy reflection, I am reminded of the good gifts my father gives. I am reminded of the uniqueness of those gifts. I am reminded of the depth and quality of the gifts the Father gifts because we are known by Him.

Fellows Reflection: February 2011

“Confession is not resolving to reform it is gambling on grace.”

These were among the last words I heard during this month’s curriculum on prayer, but perhaps it would have been most helpful to hear them first. The breadth of the topic of prayer is wide, expanding in all different directions, but I’ve concluded that it is best described as an investment. And; thus, the gamble on grace. When Richard Kaufmann spoke these words in his sermon regarding confession, they rang true with the risk of vulnerability… But the essence of prayer is to gamble. To gamble in spending time with the Lord over acting on my volition. To gamble in conversing with the Lord over conversing with a neighbor. An investment in relationship based on faith and not on sight.

Prayer takes courage. And, as Tim Keller said, “courage goes against what is natural.” Prayer takes courage because it means boldly facing truth in honest conversation with the God of the universe. It is a time distinctly separate from most other times when we wax poetic about God’s will for our life in that prayer is when we actually ask for it. And asking for it feels risky. Again, Keller notes here that praying that the Lord’s will be done actually permits the following: “we might do diligently all He commands and submit patiently to all He inflicts.” Infliction seems to indicate tests, pain, and change. Infliction takes courage because infliction willingly asks for things we’re not sure we actually want.

Even still, prayer puts us in the glorious tension of what has passed and what is still off in the distance. Prayer frames our perspective like that of those in the “Hall of Faith” as Martyn Lloyd-Jones notes, “They saw certain things afar off, they were seeking for “a city which hath foundations; they had their eye on the ultimate objective.” Prayer is the medium through which we become acquainted with a speck of what eternity with our King will look like. All the while, prayer allows us the magnificent process of recollection where we can see that though we have so far to go, we have come quite far through divine provision. Firming up our acquaintance with the Father propels us beyond the idea “that God is standing between me and my desires and that which is best for me” and into the notion that the Father knows best and we are at our best when we are in His midst.

I am struck by the truth that “As (our) ‘Father which is in heaven’ He is much more anxious to bless us than we are to be blessed.” Coming undone, bringing exactly what we are over what we ought to be, not knowing the words to pray as we start the prayer… Those do not seem like the necessary preparations to meet the Father. But the beauty of prayer and proximity to Christ is that we are not responsible for being prepared for our interactions with him, we are simply responsible to respond to how he engages with us.