Consider the Lilies

The last few weeks have been odd.

Not exactly cohesive, but more of a mosaic of broken weeks, scattered conversations, interrupted sleep, and way more heart than is actually comfortable.

It hasn’t been all bad. It hasn’t been all good. It’s been just short of settlement on any one thing.

Two weeks ago, I began memorizing Matthew 7: 7-11.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

On Tuesday, I was in a random conversation with a co-worker who asked if I knew the verse about the father giving good gifts and how much more our heavenly father wants to give us good gifts?

Um… Yes, I know it… It’s taped to my desk and mirror in the bathroom.

Then, early yesterday I came across something of interest on my newsfeed (I’ll go ahead and give Katy Kirk the shout out here). A quote from Oswald Chambers - "Every time we lose ground in our fellowship with God, it is because we have disrespectfully thought that we knew better than Jesus Christ."

Hmm – convicting, but then again, that’s how most things with Chambers are.

Later that morning I decided, on my pleasant surprise of a snow day, that I would take minute to read from My Utmost For His Highest by Chambers, on this particular day.

The words that Chambers wrote for this day were so necessary.

"Consider the lilies of the field" - they grow where they are put. Many of us refuse to grow where we are put, consequently we take root nowhere. Jesus says that if we obey the life God has given us, He will look after all the other things. Has Jesus Christ told us a lie? If we are not experiencing the "much more," it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us, we are taken up with confusing considerations.

In a moment – the pieces (which should probably be read “shambles”) of the last few weeks were glued together. In a paragraph, thin places became thick as parts of different lessons formed a team and unified under the banner of obedience.

“Consider the lilies” isn’t some glib recommendation to take notice of the pretty things. “Consider the lilies” is a reality check that demands obedience long before you know the outcome. It is the bedrock of submission and absolute surrender. The lilies remind us that the good gifts are sometimes the hard gifts, that the hard gifts are often ones hand-wrapped by Christ, and that the things hand-wrapped by Christ are sometimes the “much more” we choose to ignore.

My Father knows how to give good gifts.

My Father gives gifts that take courage to open.

My Father wants to give me much more.

Consider the lilies, friend.

And don't be afraid to obey.

One Word 2011: Control

When the “One Word” proposition first made its appearance I thought it was a cool idea. I mean who doesn’t get a little excited about partnering in something with the Lord?

Almost instantaneously my word fell upon me and the term “control” has been present ever since. I encouraged friends to pursue the endeavor and got excited when I heard their choices just thinking of how God could use that in each of their lives. I confess I have been a little less excited about God’s faithfulness in letting me see my word through His eyes, but it is His faithfulness nevertheless, so I am trying to stay tuned into this new activity.

Releasing control is more than allowing someone to cut in on me in traffic. It’s more than merely turning the other cheek. I am convinced that you never really know how much you control until all of the sudden you stop doing it. It’s been eye opening to see how much of my identity was centered in the art of orchestration. Some days I am excited for these opportunities for obedience and other days when I sort of resent this word for choosing me. There are many moments spent in the tension between knowing and doing, between doubt and belief, and between questions and answers. Most of the time, I feel a little stuck in the ambiguity of it all. There are also moments spent in the encouragement of the saints pushing me to persevere, to experience joy in the midst of it, and to move in the direction of complete obedience. In the newness of this lifestyle, it seems easy to lose my way and easy to misstep. BUT, there is a confidence persisting that knows that the me on the other side of this word is the me that God wants me to be.

Despite the traps of fallen emotion.
Despite the traps of absent confidence.
Despite the traps of a fearful heart.
Despite all of that, there is a plot of land for the surrendered life that is staked out for me anxiously waiting my arrival.

The plumb line of obedience runs strong through this journey as each day begs a specific question. Namely, which choice takes control away from me and gives it over to God? The correct response may rid me of temporary comfort, initial peace, or even that which I once knew… But this response does not render me hopeless. For this response finds its roots in God’s desire and stakes its claim in God’s best. God has an individual plan for my life and each time He raises that question from above, it is an invitation to be courted by the God of the universe.

I am tempted to find a way to measure my success in this area, but I don’t know that I should. All I know is that in order for this word, the one God put in front of me for 2011, to have its way it must be placed squarely before me each day.

I am months from conclusions. And even further from arriving. I am merely convinced that each morning is really the guise of the question – “Will you trust me today?”

Blue Is For Belief

I decided to clean out my school bag today while my kids were testing... I came across many things (unopened Christmas cards with gift cards in them - score!), but perhaps the most interesting was a printout of something I wrote a long time ago... November 16th 2009 actually...

I remember writing it. I remember believing it. I even know why I might have neeeded to read it now. Recalling this made me remember why I believe, but more importantly who I believe.

Today, this encouraged my spirit... As I hope it does yours. :)

Monday, November 16th, 2009
2 Timothy 1:12

I know who it is I have put my trust in.

I have this blue bracelet. And this blue bracelet reminds me that I believe God. Not that I believe in God or believe about God, but that I actually believe Him. Believe Him enough to at least try to do the hard things He asks, believe enough to willingly put myself in painfully awkward situations because I know He has promised fruit in the end, believe enough to stay the course when everything around indicates otherwise. As Beth Moore would say, “I’m believing God.” The funny thing about this blue bracelet is that it only needed to stay on for the duration of a ten-week bible study, but it’s been three months since it’s completion and here it is, still tightly tied around my wrist. Very intentionally, it’s tied around my right hand knowing very well that it is my strong hand that’s likely to cause me to stumble… For the very hand I depend on is the same hand that often wills destruction and displays mistrust. But, just when I might get to that point and am ready to throw in the towel, I look at my wrist and I see this blue ribbon. I have a choice and I am choosing to believe.

Though it is merely a collection of strings, woven together, creating a simple design, it represents the God we know. Which is not at all the same as the God we know about. Lots of people know about God, some people would even say they believe in Him, but at the end of it all, how many of us can say we truly trust Him? Trust him enough to throw ourselves before him, offering everything that we have, walking boldly and willingly into what most might think is impending and certain humiliation because we trust that any hardship suffered for Christ is far superior to any joyous event spent in vain. Do we believe that?

We believe not because we know the precise outcome, but because we have no evidence that God has failed us yet. We believe not because we physically see God in our days, but because at the moment when our heart begins to ache, we feel our wound being bound up and relief appears sooner than we thought possible. Brennan Manning says this, “The felt knowledge of the tenderness of Jesus that lifts us, scarred and depressed after sin, gently to himself is the very soul of ragamuffin spirituality. After stumbling and falling, the ragamuffin does not sink into despondency and endless self-incrimination, she quickly repents, offers the broken moment to the Lord, and renews her trust in the Messiah of sinners. She knows that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how it is to love.”

We believe Jesus because He puts us at ease, let’s us know that our brokenness does not make him squirm, does not make him feel awkward, does not make him desire to be around us any less. In fact, our brokenness is the very reason He came to visit us on earth. We know that a good friend, or parent, or spouse would quickly do whatever they could to take any pain we have away if it were only in their power. But, as believers, real believers of Christ, the pain of our tender heart is felt by the one who can actually do something about it. Though it seems daunting to willingly take our hearts and place them in His hands, let us trust in our Messiah and allow our heart to dwell comfortably within those sacred palms.

Maple Bacon Scones - It's not all business here...

Except that it is a seriously wonderful business to find great new combinations for maple and bacon. A while back I made a batch of maple bacon chocolate chip cookies (amazing) and then a batch of maple blueberry muffins... Ever since, I've been craving and researching new recipes online...

For the scones, I used a recipe from King Arthur Flour...

And then I went rogue on the topping and created my own delicious maple drizzle.

The "recipe" for that is here:

1/2 stick butter
1/2 cup of confectioner's sugar
1/2 teaspoon of maple flavor

Melt the butter over low heat. Add the maple flavor. Gradually wisk in the sugar until you get a nice runny consistency. Drizzle over the scones and then sprinkle the scones with the left over bacon bits from baking the scones. :)

So, here's the finished product. It was my only achievement of my sick day today... But that's okay - I took the day to rest. :)

Our Days As Gleaners

Ruth 2:15 - "Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not."

Charles Spurgeon thinks a gleaner is the most a Christian ever is. He thikns our faith is so small that, like Ruth, we can only glean from the field of provision.

This is interesting.

It is interesting because it implies that the reason we can't have more is not because it is not available, but because we cannot possibly carry it.
We are people of little faith... And sometimes that's okay because...

As Spurgeon suggests - "All we can do is to glean; we cannot cart the wheat home, or carry a sheaf on our shoulders; we can only take it up ear by ear."
I guess that's all we are ever asked to really do... Not to harvest the whole field of God, but faithfully take him up ear by ear.

Fellows Reflection: January 2011

With the new year now this year it seems as though everything started in 2010 must now somehow be finished. Resolutions finalized. Conclusions complete. All thoughts and feelings edited and ready for final print. Being at the precipice of one thing often means standing at the funeral of something else. This gives us hope. But it also gives us fear.

Just before the end of last year I had one seemingly innocuous question spiral me into wondering if 2010 had been a lost year. I wanted so desperately for that to not be true. I think God knew that. I think He also knew that in the weeks to follow that He was about to do a new thing… A new thing that made me know that all was not lost in 2010.

I’d resolved earlier in the fall that I would no longer wait to memorize the monthly scripture verse until the end of the month. Seeking to apply it as best I could, I placed it squarely in front of me each morning, soaking it in bit by bit. This produced interesting results in a life that now feels a lot more like parts than it does a whole.

This reflection echoes that. It doesn’t flow. It isn’t edited. It’s simply a train of thoughts on a timeline from the month of December.

Part 1: “If you love me. Obey my commands.”
Conviction isn’t quiet when it comes and I knew just where this verse was headed in my own life when reading it. Obedience is non-negotiable. We do it afraid because even though we are unsure of the outcome, we believe the outcome of disobedience to be far worse than our fear of following quickly. Even if it means letting go of control.

Part 2: “And I will ask the father and he will send another advocate. One to help you and be with you forever – the spirit of truth.”
The holy spirit picks up the pieces that obedience seems to create. And as I have waxed and waned between knowing obedience was the right choice and feeling like obedience was the right choice, the holy spirit has shown up time and time again. He is not repulsed by my failure… Annoyed by my fear… Or threatened by any gain I experience in the Lord.

Often times when I sign notes I sign them – “In it with you” (Thank to my Young Life boss - Mike Ramsey) and that’s often what I hear the holy spirit telling me. Surely, he is in it with me.

Part 3: “The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him.”
What I have come to see and almost really believe is that God cannot heal the things that I do not allow myself to feel. He does not ask us to dwell, but he does sometimes ask us to stay. Stay past the point of comfort. Stay past the point that the world would say is advisable. Stay long enough for the surgery of our soul to be complete and for the stitches to fully heal.

Part 4: “But you know him, for he is will be with you and in you forever.”
The holy spirit gives me confidence that I can. The holy spirit encourages me that I will. The holy spirit reminds me that it’s worth it.

Billy Graham says that “we have two natures within us, both struggling for mastery.” I think that’s true. As we grow in our faith I believe those natures take different forms, but it ultimately comes down to self vs. God… And pretty much every battle of will, confidence, security, or obedience comes down to a fight between what we choose to believe and what we feel like believing.

I love my friends. I love the way they love me, encourage me, and are available to me. But even still, they cannot calm the steady chorus of doubt chanting at me day by day. Their words are gentle and their presence is a gift, but even that cannot comfort me when I, as John Acuff puts it, “close my eyes and a failure parade that spans decades marches into my subconscious.” But this reflection isn’t about what I don’t have… It’s about understanding the ministry of the holy spirit to my spirit in the midst of this life. It’s about believing heaven when all I feel is earth.
In the end, 2010 may go down as a year unfinished. Even still, I’ll continue to believe that hope does not disappoint, that “the secret to abiding is obedience”, and that “when I yield to worry I deny my Guide the right to lead me in confidence and peace.” (Thank you Billy Graham for those words)

So here’s to 2011…
May it lack control…
May it be defined by the eternal…
And may God lead the way…